I know I said I was going to go in chronological order, but seeing as I’m genuinely upset right now, I figured I might as well talk about that.
Justin’s work schedule is really taking a toll on me.
That sounds totally codependant, I know.
But I miss him. Whenever I stalk to him he’s either too tired to hold any kind of substantial conversation becauase he’s working all the time, he’s AT work and can’t really talk, or he’s in a horrible mood and snaps at me because he’s so stressed out with work.
On top of that, our work schedules totally suck. The only time I usually get to see him is on friday nights and the weekend, because on weekdays i work nights and he works during the day.
I know it’s not his fault that I work a crazy retail schedule. But if the weekends are the only time i get to see him, then i want to make sure I at least get that.
Last weekend, He got a bad cold and I didn’t get to see him on sunday.
And he just called me from work today and when i asked him what time he was going to get done he said it would be really late and that I probably won’t see him tonight.
I had to rush him off of the phone so he wouldn’t hear me cry.
I know that he loves me. And I know that if there was ever an emergency he’d be there for me and ditch work. I just wish it wouldn’t take an emergency. Sometimes I feel like I’m in this relationship alone. And I’ve been feeling like it more and more lately.
I dont know if I’m being selfish. And I know I don’t want to stress him out even more by making a stink about his work load.
I also know I could have much bigger problems both with my life and in my relationship. I can’t really fault him for being a hardworker. That’s a quality I usually admire in people. And I knew what i was getting myself into with him…
but it seems like it just keeps getting worse.
I feel like maybe I’m just being bratty… But I haven’t seen my boyfriend in 6 days. And I would have liked to see him tonight.